"When I was little,
at being a mom, I tried to organize my
baby into being able to do what I needed
him to do. It didn't take long for
me to realize that my baby was unorganizeable,
absolutely unpredictable and here to totally
rock my world. I recall a dear friend saying to me 'I can't wait till you
have kids so you will get REAL!' And so I did. Real real real with
all the accouterments to go with, like piles of undone work, stacks of unsorted
photographs, socks that don't match, dishes piled in the sink, tears streaming
down my face from exhaustion, and the constant understanding that this
was harder than I ever planned, more uncontrollable then I ever envisioned
and that I was repeating what so many millions of moms had done before me, learning
to sacrifice personal cleanliness, personal time, and personal life for
the life of a reckless hungry little 8 lb. infant who took all of me.
The story
here is so common. Nothing is the
same once the baby arrives. Not
friendships, not love relationships, not schedule, not exercise, not work, not
home, not your own mom and dad, not your clothes, not your nails, not your shoe
size, not your hair, not your housekeeping, not your cooking... each of these
things and every other facet of life is directly transformed by the presence
of the babe. That little swaddled thing in the bassinet has convoluted
everything. It's a dizzying story of freaky love, otherworldly love,
that is mixed with so many other emotions: resentment, confusion, loneliness,
perhaps a deep perplexion about how all
this came
to pass. It is the beginning
of the journey into motherhood...."
—by Nanci
Olesen
from NOW YOU
MOMbo: Newborn Shock
(click HERE for another
excerpt from this essay)
Expecting
Change, by Ellen Sue Stern
I read Ellen Sue Stern's book EXPECTING
CHANGE when I was pregnant, and
when my child was born I re-read and practically memorized the last two chapters: "Postpartum" and "Woman to Mother." She
talks about how your key relationships
change when you have a baby. She describes the unpredictable
swings of mood and the slippery slope toward postpartum depression that every
mother
is near.
http://www.ellensuestern.com/bookpages/expecting.html
Depression after Childbirth,
by Katharina Dalton and Wendy M. Holton,
Oxford University Press.
This is a scientific analysis of the state of what's described by these British
authors as Post NATAL depression. It is helpful to understand how to
diagnose the situation for anyone who is around a mom who is struggling to
care for herself or her infant when her hormones are imbalanced and she's lost
in the lonely world of depression.
Composing Myself, by Fiona Shaw, Steerforth
Press, 1998
This is a very personal, detailed description of the author's journey
through postpartum depression. It's really engaging, and, I have to
say, slightly
frightening.
MotherShock, by Andrea Buchanan, Seal
Press, 2003
Mother Shock is a refreshing and
down-to-earth look at the birth of a mother.
In 30 essays, author Andrea Buchanan shares
the insights she gains
as she overcomes the culture shock of new motherhood, from the overwhelming
feelings of first love for her baby to the disturbing and often hilarious
darker side of mothering, to finally reaching
a place where she not only speaks the
language but understands the customs of this strange and wonderful world.
My sister, mother of a four month old,
loved this book. She followed our mom around
the kitchen, reading sections out loud,
and alternately laughing
and crying....
http://www.mothershock.com
Your Amazing Newborn, by Marshall and
Phyllis Klaus, Perseus Books,
1998
This marvelous book shows photos and offers insight into the baby's
experience. We
learn what the BABY is doing and thinking and dealing with as she experiences
HER first days outside of the womb. Who IS this little baby? We gain
valuable insights to help unlock the secret messages communicated by newborn
babies.
http://www.birthways.org/htm/bkreview.htm
"Depression after Childbirth," from
the University of Pittsburgh Medical
Center
This is an easy to read brochure which describes the symptoms of postpartum
depression and offers further reading and support.
http://patienteducation.upmc.com/Pdf/PostpartumDepression.pdf
"Beyond
Baby Blues: Understanding and Coping With Postpartum Depression" by
Melanie Lawrence, © Copyright 2001 by Parents' Press. Here's a first hand
account of postpartum depression with a sidebar devoted to lots of resources.
http://www.parentspress.com/pardepression.html
(remember
to go to the BLOG to
order a CD set for your sister-in-law!!)
6) introduction: Nanci
Olesen
7) interview with Faulkner Fox, author
of Dispatches From A Not-So-Perfect Life
click
HERE to listen to an excerpt of Nanci's
conversation with Faulkner
www.faulknerfox.com
8) "A Mother's Day Prayer"
by Kim Lane, creator of Austin mama
www.austinmama.com
9) Postpartum book recommendations: Nanci
Olesen
10) "You're Not Alone" commentary by Linda
Breitag. Linda is a writer, musician and
mom. She
plays the fiddle! She's a regular MOMbo contributor and a great
musician.
11) Credits and parting words: Nanci Olesen
"...I'm trying to picture you
out there, holding that little tiny baby with her little cloth hat on.
You have somehow managed to listen all the
way through
to this moment. Good luck as you move from day to night to day
with your brand new baby. Seek friendship in other moms. Thank
your own mom for what she went through. Hold that baby tight, and
as we always say on MOMbo,
Love your kids. Be good to yourself. Talk
to you again soon..."
"Powderhorn
Mambo" (MOMbo's THEME MUSIC!) by Steve
Sabone Sandberg, performed by Your Community
Band, Minneapolis, Minnesota.
"1 day, 2
day, 3 days old" (Woody Guthrie) performed
by Elizabeth Mitchell http://www.youaremyflower.org
"So
Glad I'm Here" (Bessie Smith) performed
by Elizabeth Mitchell http://www.youaremyflower.org
"The
Night is Young" by JB Mclain,
from The Mystery "Home At Last" by Linda
Breitag from Feet
to the Fire http://www.bfjmusic.com |
