24 nov 2004
My Children, My Mentors
by Sima Shahriar
I was thirteen when my family moved from
Tehran, Iran, to Minneapolis. It was 1978.
It wasn't an easy move. Our move coincided
with the Islamic Revolution in Iran and
the hostage taking of Americans for 444
days.
I've lived between
two cultures for so many years that I really
don't know what it means to be in my comfort
zone. I don't have one. I used to resent
this. As I've aged, I have realized what
a blessing this has been for me. It has
allowed me to open myself to almost anything
or anyone that inspires me without
judging them!! This is true mostly with
my children.
When we had our
first son, we decided to speak Farsi to
him. My husband is also Iranian, so it
seemed the natural thing to do. Besides,
I had
dreamed of going back "home" for
the past fourteen uncomfortable years in
Minneapolis.
Arman wasn't two years old
when I decided to go back to Tehran for
a visit and also to do a little research
as to whether we could move back. As the
plane was landing in Tehran, my body was
overjoyed. Tears came down my face, and
I had to explain to Arman that Mommy was
very happy and these were the tears of
joy. Well, the tears of joy turned to tears
of overwhelming sadness during our five
week stay in Iran. It took about a week
for Arman to get used to the time change.
There were nights that I had to rock him
and sing to him for hours until he'd fall asleep.
Then I would go to the balcony facing the Elborz mountains—the most
beautiful sight and such a comfort to me
when I was just a child. I would cry for
hours. I couldn't help but feel homeless.
I felt so foreign in my own country.
I came back resolved, knowing
that Minneapolis is my home and I would
never spend another day wanting to be somewhere
else. I couldn't help but feel sorry and
angry for having wasted fourteen years
of my life wishing to be somewhere else.
However, I still had to speak Farsi to
Arman. He is one of those energetic children
who used to get up at five in the morning
and wanted to go Da-Da (in his language,
outside). So we did. We'd head out to either
Lake Harriet or Lake Calhoun and the fresh
air brought so much joy to us. At the park
we'd still speak Farsi and would get all
kinds of attention from people. I was resolved
to pass on my mother tongue to Arman.
Since life was so new as a family and we really didn't have a community to participate in, I started looking for venues to belong to as a family. Minnesota Children's Museum became that place for us. We would go there on Friday nights and spend the whole night watching and playing with Arman. There were all kinds of celebrations every month. One month a group of Menorahs had caught my eye, so I took Arman to the display and explained to him their significance to the Jewish culture and their celebration. He turned to me and said, "Mom, when are we going to share our celebration at the Museum?" He was referring to the Iranian New Year (Noruz) which is a celebration of the beginning of Spring. His thought became my goal. With the help of a couple of old friends and many new friends we made the celebration happen at the museum for seven years. Arman taught me to feel comfortable and share what I knew with others. It was a huge leap for me.
When our second son Armeen was born, we had to deal with a whole different personality. Armeen cried for the first seven months of his life. Once he found some comfort in his new world, he blossomed. He is my analytical child. At nine months he decided that there was no need to waste his energy crawling around, he just wanted to walk. So he'd find all kinds of strategies to get himself up, find someone to help him tiptoe around the house.
I used to read every book in Farsi to my kids. I got really good at it. At the library, I would have Arman and Armeen listening to me. Often another child would come to join us. He'd start listening, then I would get that puzzled look from him. I would always explain to our new listener that I was reading in Farsi. Sometimes the child would sit and listen!!
When Armeen was about three, he stopped me and said, " Mom, you need to start reading in my language." It didn't register for me, until he said it to me another time.
It made me think quite a bit.
Arman had helped me share my culture for the first time at The Children's Museum. I met some of the most inspiring people in my life there. Now Armeen pushed me to assimilate. He pushed me to learn and love English.
I continued to read in both Farsi and English to the boys. Little by little, I switched. It was hard for me to give up that last bit of what made me comfortable in life. Farsi was my connection to my old childhood life and I had hung on to it.
I have been in this uncomfortable zone for a while now and I'm beginning to feel comfortable in it.
Every day I tell my children how much I love them. When I learn something from them, I thank them for that. Someday they will read my journals and I hope I will still be here to thank them for showing life to me all over again, for helping their mom find a new home.
They helped me love another language.
—Sima Shahriar
I am mom to my boys Arman and Armeen. I am a part time salesperson/dishwasher at Cooks of Crocus Hill, and during the winter months I teach children Alpine skiing at Hyland's Ski School. My highest priority and passion for the past two years has been the food I put on our table, educating myself on nutrition and eating a balanced diet, and making simple awareness in my children's schools with regards to lack of nutritional food for many children in our nation. I am a big supporter of my Co-Op in Linden Hills and love to support our farmers at St. Paul Farmers Market. Community Supported Agriculture and local organic farmers are my inspiration to healthy living. I studied Architecture at the University of Minnesota and practiced before my first son was born. I love gardening and discovering beautiful natural treasures in Minneapolis with my family. Some of our local favorite treasures are the Walker Sculpture Garden and Conservatory, the magnificent bike route all along the Mighty Mississippi, and Wirth Parkway's Wildflower Garden, bike route, and of course their soft and cushiony Bog. The three local organizations that have impacted my thoughts and life style immensely are In The Heart of The Beast Mask and Puppet Theatre, The Green Institute, and Nutritional Weight and Wellness. Local, Local, Local is my motto.
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