20 july 2005
Creamsicle Disappointment
By Tera Schreiber
Today my three year-old daughter asked for a sandwich. Upon seeing the sandwich delivered to her space at the table, she dissolved into tears. “NO! Not that way! I want it in two pieces!” It was as though I brought her a giant bowl of liver and onions when she was expecting chocolate chip cookies.
I looked at the sandwich (which I viewed as a labor of love, with the crusts cut off nicely, just like I knew she wanted it, without her having to ask) and saw two halves looking up at me. “It is in two pieces, Sweetie. See? Two halves.”
“NOOOO!!!! TWO PIECES!!!” Her frustration was palpable.
With some effort, I realized that what she wanted was an open faced sandwich. So, we peeled apart the pieces of bread. She smiled through her tears and set to work eating her lunch.
Moments like this, silly as the might be, leave me a little off balance. Did I miss some secret sandwich trend? Are all of the 3 year-olds eating open-faced sandwiches these days? And if so, how did my kid know about this? She has never asked for such a thing before, so how could I have known she would melt down at the sight of a regular sandwich? Is she just trying to drive me crazy?
And I realize—it’s like my creamsicle disappointment.
I was about 3 years-old on a trip to the beach with my mom. I remember so vividly parking far away from the beach, the hot pavement as we walked from the car, the creosote smell from the railroad tracks, holding her hand as we crossed the tracks, the gravel between the metal tracks and, most of all, the concession stand at the entrance to the park. The concession stand had an assortment of cold treats perfect for a hot day at the beach.
I knew what I liked but didn’t know the product names for all of the different treats. My mom asked if I wanted a treat and I jumped at the opportunity. In my mind, I was signing on for a cold, chocolately Fudgesicle. When the treat was unwrapped and handed to me, it was ORANGE—a Creamsicle! And totally unappealing to me! My disappointment was so intense that I couldn’t even find words to describe it. I couldn’t have been more disappointed if she had given me a broccoli-sicle. I cried and dropped the offending article in the sand.
My mom was completely irritated with me for ruining the treat she bought for me. But her anger was nothing compared to my frustration at having my wishes so totally misunderstood. I still feel the pit in my stomach as I think of how
deeply disappointing that moment was for me.
Today as I saw my daughter’s seemingly fickle and irrational behavior, I remember my Creamsicle disappointment. And my heart aches just a little for her. Because this is only one of a long list of things that she will find disappointing—only one of the times she will get orange when she expects chocolate.
Tera Schreiber is a recovering lawyer and the Executive Director of Great Starts Birth & Family Education in Seattle. She enjoys writing as a way to chronicle the amazing privilege of mothering her daughters and has been published in ParentMap, American Whitewater, The King County Bar Journal, and The Puget Sound Business Journal. |
