16 june 2004
Paying Attention
by Nanci Olesen
There’s a lot of events at this
time of year. The graduation parties, the
end of the school year picnics, the final
Sunday School-o-rama. The month of June
brings that kind of gallop that only the
month of December can rival in a mom’s
life.
I have noticed, however, that we might
not be paying attention the way that we
really should.
I work as a waitress, and at my relaxing
shifts four days a week (I’m not
kidding. I might be running around a restaurant
multi-tasking for your every need, oh customers,
but it’s like an afternoon in a bookstore
compared to what I do at my house and my
kids’ school...) anyway, at those
relaxing shifts of mine, I overhear moms,
dads, young college graduates, grandparents,
and hip singles listing “all the
things I have to do” relentlessly
as if going to fabulous graduation parties,
weddings, proms and picnics is somehow
a burdensome task because it clashes with
so many work related assignments and puts
us “so far behind.” Behind
what? This is life.
Then, at these parties and events, I sometimes
try to engage people in conversation about
the person who is being honored. “Isn’t
this GREAT? Oh my gosh, I can’t believe
Zara is a high school graduate! I remember....” And
that can work for a while, but before you
know it we’re back to “all
the things I have to do” or “How
rotten my organization is right now” or “the
next big thing I have to accomplish that
I’m way behind on.”
People. People. People. People. These
are celebrations. We are all growing old
watching our beautiful children grow up.
We are learning the very essence of life
each time we participate in one of these
events. When our children go with us to
these events, they know, just by watching
us, whether this is FUN for us or whether
we really have to hectically get on to
the next thing.
Can we pay attention a little better?
I think so. Can we look carefully at the
pictures hung up for us to admire of the
people being honored? Can we think of an
answer to that stupid question “so
what are you doing these days?” that
is “I’m doing this. I’m
here right now. This is what I’m
doing.”
Then as we relax a bit, a month from now,
when there are less parties and functions
that we GET to go to, we’ll know
that what we did at these lovely events
was ENJOY them.
Turn off your cell phone throughout the
whole event (or better yet, don’t
have one. But that’s another essay...).
Talk about what you came for from when
you arrive until you leave. Know that everyone
is doing many things in their lives and
that by honoring these celebrations and
truly paying attention you can treasure
them forever.
—Nanci Olesen
producer and host, MOMbo: 1990-2007 |
